1 Month Old!

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. Adjusting to motherhood has left me with very little time. My days are now measured in feedings, changes, and sleep and with that, the day goes by much faster than I could have thought. I finish one feeding and feel like five minutes later I'm doing another! With that being said, I'm loving mommyhood and being this little one's momma. The first few weeks were really rough. I didn't really want to see anyone and I barely talked to anyone either. I really just wanted to focus on me and baby, sleep when I could, and learn how to adjust to life with me and baby together. I have a great support team, but I needed to basically relearn how to be independent. I think I also got a case of the baby blues which contributed to these feelings as well. So here we are at almost six weeks and I'm feeling pretty darn good!

We have adjusted to sleeping less and interrupted. I have also began learning how to do things around the house like dishes and feeding Lila while toting around a little one. Our saving grace is the swing! She absolutely LOVES the swing which makes it a little easier to get things done around the house. We have also introduced bottles. After about three weeks of exclusively breastfeeding, I was starting to resent basically everything because I felt so much pressure. I felt guilt when I wasn't sleeping, when S wasn't sleeping and had to get up for work. I was feeling guilty because I wasn't absolutely loving breastfeeding. I realized that I needed help. So, the solution became giving her a bottle of formula. At first it was once a day, and now it has become every other feeding. She was eating every hour and a half (we're now pushing it to two hours) and it was just rough to have her all day and then all night because I didn't want to ask for help so S could sleep. I know that seems like a while but when it would take 30 to 45 minutes to get her to eat to being content, it seemed like she was always wanting to eat. Needless to say, I learned pretty quick that the outlook I had was NOT going to work. I had heard everyone advise me to listen to my gut and that I had to do what was best for my family. I felt a tremendous amount of guilt because everywhere you go, it's preached that "breast is best" and I was feeling like I was a bad mom because I just couldn't do it all the time. Now, looking back, I'm SO glad that I listened to my gut and that we are doing what is best for our family!

We went to the pediatrician yesterday and baby girl is now weighing almost nine pounds (8 pounds and 14 ounces). She had to get her second Hep B shot and did pretty good. She was cranky for about 24 hours but no other real reactions (thank goodness!). The pediatrician was asking questions and when I'd answer, she'd make a comment about how smart I am and how attentive I am. You have NO idea how reassuring that can be. It's always nice to hear that I am doing a good job when I am feeling stressed out. Anyways, I am going to try to post more but who knows what will happen. Now we are working on sleeping longer shifts, especially at night, and pushing her feedings to every twoish hours. I can't believe how fast the time is flying. It's so hard to believe she's been here this long already!